Another Day in Paradise

Leather heated seats - satellite radio - power sunroof - tinted windows - power everything!!  I LOVE this car!!!

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home.

It read as follows:

"Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky"

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:

"Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

 

Take Care,

Ricky"

In an effort to get back into a fitness routine I purchased the Lisa Rinna Dance Body Beautiful videos. I figure while I am getting fit I can also learn some really cool dance moves. They are great! And are an awesome workout too!!

Tonight...my daughter decided she would try to follow along with me. After about 10 minutes - unable to get her feet co-ordinated - she'd had enough.

"I think we should ditch the workout," she said... "and settle for some cha cha cha-colate cake instead." 

She is such a bad influence. 

Today, as my husband and I were at the local coffee shop we witnessed this conversation.

Foreign Customer: Kafee pulease

Worker: Sorry???

Foreign Customer: kafee pulease..

Worker: puzzled look on her face

Foreign Customer: KAFEE (as he holds up & shakes his empty coffee thermos)

Worker: AHHHHH...(as begins speaking very slowly ......and very loudly)  YOU.  WANT.  COFFEE? 

Worker: WOULD.  YOU.  LIKE.  YOUR.  COFFEE.  BLACK.  SIR?

Why is it when someone does not speak our language, we automatically assume they are also deaf?

 

 

 

 

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:
 
 
Dear Ms. Davis,
 
I want to be very clear on my child's illustration.  It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.  This photo is of me selling a shovel.
 
Mrs. Harrington 
 

Last night my sister  and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want  to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' 
 
So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine. 
 
She's such a bitch.

Definitely worth a watch

I stood in the check out line the other day, watching the woman in front of me, as she had all 5 of her credit cards declined. Then she proceeded to have a meltdown - screaming at the cashier, as if the declined cards was somehow her fault, (poor cashier) before finally storming out of the store, leaving all of her items behind.

Then there was an old lady, a few people behind me. I had heard her mumbling as soon as she lined up - complaining about the wait. But when some young guy tried to break into the line up in front of her, all hell broke loose. There were LOUD words exchanged between the two, clearly heard over the soft sounds of Bing Crosby's "Have yourself a very Merry Christmas" playing on the loud speaker in the background, and at one point I thought for sure she was gonna take him out with her handbag.

Nothing like a good ol' handbag fight and some fowl language to get ya in a festive mood!! haha

Hilarious!

Christmas......

It's meant to be such a special time of the year!!

Yet, we've turned it into long "I WANT" lists, racked up credit card bills, overworked retail workers, and cranky, stressed out shoppers. We're so busy taking Christ out of Christmas that we've forgotten why we celebrate it in the first place. We have removed the true meaning of what Christmas is all about.

Every year as the holiday gets closer I hear people complain about missing the "holiday spirit." "Just don't feel the

mood anymore" they say.

Hmm...I wonder why?!!

We spend an inordinate amount of time focused on shopping and buying gifts. We practically kill ourselves buying trees we can't afford. We run up our credit cards buying toys and gifts, and empty our bank accounts overstocking our pantry's with more food than we can eat. All in an effort to make someone else happy!!!

Yet, I have to wonder.........

On Christmas morning, as we sit around the tree, waist deep in torn Christmas wrap, are we really happier people?

As we loosen our belts or slip into our "elastic waist pants" after the huge Christmas meal, complaining all afternoon about how full and fat we feel, are we really happier people?

What if, just for one year we decided to cut our gifts by at least half, and instead, gave back to those in need?

What if, we went into our closets, grabbed old toys and clothes, and provided them to those without?

What if, instead of gorging on food, we used some of it to feed those who are hungry?

What if, we took our family and spent part of Christmas day volunteering at the soup kitchen?

What if, instead of buying gift cards for our friends, we gave the money to a charity instead?

A friend of mine watched a celebrity on TV (I don't know which one) talking about her favorite Christmas memory. It was the time her family and friends got together on Christmas morning and instead of giving gifts to each other they each brought a small paper bag with their name on it and some paper.

Throughout the day they would each take turns writing something on a small piece of paper and dropping it into each other's paper bag.

By the end of the day their bags were each filled with appreciation, compliments, memories, and thank-you's (only for them), from the people they love.

What a special and memorable Christmas that must have been!!

This year, I have cut back on Christmas giving, and have given to the food bank/charities instead. Yesterday, I sent a cheque to a local family, whose son is dying of cancer.

The Dad has used all his holiday/sick time/family time at work, and is now torn between paying his mortgage or being there for his son. I sent him his mortgage payment for December. My friend sent January's. It's not much, but it definitely renewed the warm Christmas fuzzies within me.

 As for the paper bags...

I would like to try that at our house - and I will.

But with my disfunctional (yet marvelous) bunch, I could see the bags containing things like

" you're funny (looking)" or " Dad just fart"

 ...and then ....

I just might have to get out MY handbag!!!!