11 posts from 2009

Leather heated seats - satellite radio - power sunroof - tinted windows - power everything!!  I LOVE this car!!!

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home.

It read as follows:

"Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky"

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:

"Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

 

Take Care,

Ricky"

In an effort to get back into a fitness routine I purchased the Lisa Rinna Dance Body Beautiful videos. I figure while I am getting fit I can also learn some really cool dance moves. They are great! And are an awesome workout too!!

Tonight...my daughter decided she would try to follow along with me. After about 10 minutes - unable to get her feet co-ordinated - she'd had enough.

"I think we should ditch the workout," she said... "and settle for some cha cha cha-colate cake instead." 

She is such a bad influence. 

Today, as my husband and I were at the local coffee shop we witnessed this conversation.

Foreign Customer: Kafee pulease

Worker: Sorry???

Foreign Customer: kafee pulease..

Worker: puzzled look on her face

Foreign Customer: KAFEE (as he holds up & shakes his empty coffee thermos)

Worker: AHHHHH...(as begins speaking very slowly ......and very loudly)  YOU.  WANT.  COFFEE? 

Worker: WOULD.  YOU.  LIKE.  YOUR.  COFFEE.  BLACK.  SIR?

Why is it when someone does not speak our language, we automatically assume they are also deaf?

 

 

 

 

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:
 
 
Dear Ms. Davis,
 
I want to be very clear on my child's illustration.  It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.  This photo is of me selling a shovel.
 
Mrs. Harrington 
 

Last night my sister  and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want  to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' 
 
So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine. 
 
She's such a bitch.